Click jester

to be humored online!

 

                                             

2004 Home Computers -  1954 Prediction

Nave Art or Worse

Tater People

Vanity of Vanities

Adults Only!!!!  Naughty Stuff!!!         

Think You Know Everything Because You're a Mensan??

Funny Stuff Jokes -- Contributed by Mensans and others.  Recently updated.

Real Togetherness

_______________________________________________________________________________

 

ABBOTT AND COSTELLO'S COMPUTER CONVERSATION

 

 

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous

sketch, "Who's on first?" might have turned out something like this:

 

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

 

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

 

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm

thinking about buying a computer.

 

ABBOTT: Mac?

 

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

 

ABBOTT: Your computer?

 

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

 

ABBOTT: Mac?

 

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

 

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

 

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

 

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

 

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

 

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

 

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

 

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

 

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write

proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

 

ABBOTT: Office.

 

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

 

ABBOTT: I just did.

 

COSTELLO: You just did what?

 

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

 

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

 

ABBOTT: Yes.

 

COSTELLO: For my office?

 

ABBOTT: Yes.

 

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

 

ABBOTT: Office.

 

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

 

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

 

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say

I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

 

ABBOTT: Word.

 

COSTELLO: What word?

 

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

 

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

 

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

 

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

 

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".

 

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with

some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?

 

ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.

 

COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of

your business. Just tell me what I need!

 

ABBOTT: Real One.

 

COSTELLO: If it's a long movie, I also want to watch reels 2, 3 and 4.

Can I watch them?

 

ABBOTT: Of course.

 

COSTELLO: Great! With what?

 

ABBOTT: Real One.

 

COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What

do I do?

 

ABBOTT: You click the blue "1".

 

COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?

 

ABBOTT: The blue "1".

 

COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?

 

ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.

 

COSTELLO: What word?

 

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

 

COSTELLO: But there are three words in "office for windows"!

 

ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.

 

COSTELLO: It is?

 

ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It

pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.

 

COSTELLO: And that word is real one?

 

ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even

part of Office.

 

COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial

bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

 

ABBOTT: Money.

 

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

 

ABBOTT: Money.

 

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

 

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

 

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

 

ABBOTT: Money.

 

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

 

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

 

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

 

ABBOTT: One copy.

 

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

 

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

 

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

 

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

 

(A few days later)

 

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

 

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

 

ABBOTT: Click on "START"......

 

(With thanks to Kathy Wall, of Lake Placid, N.Y)

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FUNNY SHTUFF -- LINKS